A Post! A post through yonder trees breaks
👋 It’s been more than a bit. When we (the royal we) last checked in here, I was starting an uncertain journey into Recess.
I’m still there, and there’s both more – and less – of that certainty.
And no, I’m not exactly sure what that might mean either, but you know, vague, enigmatic, mystery (or something).
The almost two months now away from a daily job have been what I’ve needed for sure - in some surprising ways. I’m not sure I was right when I last wrote about the burn out. I wasn’t wrong, but I think maybe it was too simplistic, me trying to rationalize and root cause something that doesn’t have one root. Trying to reduce technicolor 🌈 into black and white 🦓
I might (I hope?) to have a word or two for that in due time, which is just me mainly saying “I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and well, I just want to go for a hike right now.”
I could probably just go ahead now and copy this update from last December:
Until then, still here, still hanging in there, and slowly finding my way and words again.
- I started my 50th year on earth.
- I’m walking 500 miles this year, 10+ miles a week at a time.
- Sarah and I doing fine.
- Still at GitLab.
- Elinor is still here, and still her sassy self.
But it does deserve a bit of an update:
- About 90% of my way through my 50th year on earth
- I crossed over the 500th mile of recorded walking/hiking workouts this week, just yards away from the Churton Street Bridge, along the Riverwalk in Hillsborough, NC.
- Sarah and I are doing… great, actually.
- Not at GitLab. Not retired either. But I think that may change faster than I expected two months ago.
- Elinor is feeling great. And she owns the house.
And music! So much live music! And more on the way. That will definitely deserve it’s own post. Here’s what is ruminating inside my head to say:
- Walks!
- Music!
- Reflections on 30 years of work.
- The bug! (wherein I caused a customer emergency… trust me, it’ll be great. Maybe. hmmm, maybe I should tamp down my own expectations)
- Finding my computing mojo, whatever that is, again.
- Therapy (just going to let that hang out in this list for a bit)
In what is maybe a preview of the ramblings around walks and wonder and song - I think sometimes my subconscious tries to tell me things in the only way that it can, I can’t seem to remember my dreams, so I wonder whether the earworms mean a bit more than just some pranking memory coordinators driving me crazy ala Pixar’s Inside Out - so I keep an earworm journal.
This week, the earworm all week has been Fancy Hagood’s The Forest (co-written with Jaren Johnson).
Everything about Fancy’s music appeals to me - the honesty, the message, the strength and power in “This is who I am, this is me, and I’m going to be fully me.” While my identity is not the same as Fancy’s, that message for my own identity is really resonant with me right now.
They don’t see you the way I do
For them, it’s black and white
For us, it’s technicolor
Watching eyes on your every move
They’ll tell you who to be ‘cause they don’t know the other side
The wild in your eyes
That thing only you can recognize
Give it a listen and until next time:
I’ll meet you in the forest
I’ll meet you where the wild things grow