I started writing this post two days ago, Because I knew I wouldn’t be able to today.
He’s sleeping now.
Over the years, he’s perfected the art of sleeping.
From his disco poses:
To hogging the bed:
Sleeping with, and most often on his brother:
He’s mastered it in all its forms:
Sleeping is when everything feels normal again. It’s when I don’t have to see him anxious, legs weakened, too exhausted to stand, too uncomfortable to lay down.
It’s when I remember the first ever picture I have of him sleeping:
I hope in his dreams that he remembers the same memories that I have of him:
With your derpy brother:
Wallowing in the yard:
your own derpy self on the couch:
Watching the squirrels with his sister:
And peanut butter licks:
and running some more:
And that one time he went viral on the Internet
When he sleeps, just for a moment, I forget that I just have a few hours with him left.
He’s my best friend. My identity has been Jason, dog dad of Truman and Winston for 13 and a half years.
And while he lost daily contact with his mom and his brother when his mom and I separated and divorced - he stayed with me, and has been my constant companion for 5 and a half years, through love lost and love gained again.
The last few months have been hard, a lot of uncomfortable sleep deprived nights, slipping and collapsing on the hardwood floors. There’s occasional fleeting moments of smells and joy as we amble around the yard. But those have been shorter and shorter, the uncomfortable times longer and longer, and the pain medications no longer kept that uncomfortableness away.
Last week, I decided it was time to say goodbye. I think he’s been ready for a while. He just waited on me to be.
Most of all, I hope he remembers how much I dearly love him. And how much joy he brought into my life.
13 years ago, when Truman and Winston joined our family. I tweeted out their names, and a fellow dog-loving friend from Iowa said “Winston and Truman, eh? They should be able to change the world!”
He did. He changed mine.
Goodbye my boy. I love you so very, very much. I will miss you dearly.
Truman. A Good Boy. The Best Dog. My heart dog.
Gotcha Date 9/28/2007 - 3/22/2021