Today’s Telemarketer Spam

So I came into the office today to find this on my voice mail:

To Review Your Message, Press One (mp3)

Transcript:

Hi,

This message is for Mr. Jason Young. Hi Mr. Young, my name is Colleen Sullivan. I’m with Congressman Tom Cole in the National Republican Congressional Committee in Washington. We would like to recognize you sir, it’s with our National Leadership Award. But I want to talk with too about a press release, because we do want to send that out to you. So again, my name is Colleen Sullivan. My number is 1-877-213-0603. So please call as soon as get the message. Thank you sir and you have a good day.

I knew something was pretty well scam-tastic about it, so I started trying to check Ol’ Tom and Colleen out – which didn’t take long to find out that the National Republic Congressional Committee is tele-spamming multiple people with this little “award” thing But I want to make sure they get their word out – so I’ve provided a helpful translation of their message:


Hi,

This message is for Mr. Jason Young.

Dear Sir INVESTMENT INQUIRY

Hi Mr. Young, my name is Colleen Sullivan. I’m with Congressman Tom Cole in the National Republican Congressional Committee in Washington.

My name is Barrister j.c.don a Legal practitioner and member of the Institute of Advanced Legal Studies and Institute of International Affairs in my country.

We would like to recognize you sir,

I am forwarding this proposal to you out of the intuitive confidences I have about you and your ability to assist in the executtion of a certain straightforward transaction.

it’s with our National Leadership Award.

The transaction involves a cash investment of the sum of US$40,500,000.00 (Forty Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) in Estate business or buying of shares in a strong reliable company in your country. The investment will be under your supervision, control and on behalf of my client, a former Military Governor of a State in Nigeria during the immediate past Military Regime. As a result of a very personal and political reason, he has decided to maintain anonymity for now pending a confirmation of your willingness to assist and co-operate in execution of the project.

But I want to talk with too about a press release, because we do want to send that out to you.

As soon as I receive your confirmation of assistance, I will forward all relevant details that will ensure the smooth hand over of this money to you. these details would include a breakdown of exactly what we want, conditions of investment and percentage of commission that my client will give you for the services you will be rendering in that respect.

So again, my name is Colleen Sullivan. My number is 1-877-213-0603. So please call as soon as get the message. Thank you sir and you have a good day.

_This inquiry requires response, as it deserves to be treated with exigency in order that I do not make further contact for same abroad. Reach me via the above email address immediately indicating your willingness to assist in execution of the project

Yours sincerely,

j.c.don_


Hopefully this will accurately capture and promote the National Republic Congressional Committee’s message. If I can be of any more assistance to you guys, please call.