To heck with being an outfielder. I think I’m actually the Designated Jerk.
One of the real problem I have is that I’m like the little kid that spoke out about the Emperor having no clothes. If there are current issues or upcoming issues or if there are things that don’t fit into the bigger picture. I will point them out. The problem, of course, is that if you play that role, you are destined to annoy the living hell out of, not necessarily the Emperor, but definitely the Emperor’s court who have been outright lying about the Emperor being naked the whole time. Which is fine, I don’t really think there’s much room for the outright liars in the first place.
(Please note, for those playing along with the home game “Emperor” is a metaphor for any given issue in a work team, not an individual. The Emperor’s Court are typically the team members or outside customers that prop the issue up, and the rest of the team and customers are the citizens just ignoring the naked Emperor).
Of course, the REAL problem is that I’m too stupid to stop at “The Emperor is not wearing any clothes” . Nooooooooooo. What I always seem to do is the following:
out loud “The Emperor is not wearing any clothes” to the court: “How did you let that fellow out without clothes? Are you stupid?!?” to the public: “Can’t y’all see that man is not wearing any clothes? Are you blind?!?” out loud: “Gah, I hope that he really doesn’t go get any polyester. I think cotton is better” parting shot at the Emperor: “Yo, by the way, your butt is dimpled”
which of course results in:
the court (He called us stupid?!?): That butt comment was uncalled for! the public (He called us blind?!?): I can’t believe you said that about polyester! the emperor (He said what about my butt?): I’m wearing cotton already!
Meanwhile, I’m banned from the kingdom along with that Peter fellow on the hill with the Wolf. And the Emperor stays naked. Or starts wearing polyester leisure suits.
This week was one of the worst I’ve had in my job. And I brought it on myself. Because I didn’t take the plank out of my stupid, dimpled butt self’s blind eye. And along the way, shut up about the cotton too.
Hi I’m Say Hey Jay, Designated Jerk.