12 Days of User Support

Hey! Why is your head down on the desk there?

Oh nothing, it’s just a normal support day.

Support day? What’s that?

Oh that’s…

Five Thousand Spams
Four broken apps
Three new installations
Too many phone calls
…And a stuck floppy in a PC

Hey that’s rough, but it sounds like you are just doing a rip-off of the “12 days of Christmas”. Except you’ve only got 5.

Well, I’m waiting for the other seven to download off BitTorrent. Oh here they come!

Oh no!

Oh yes.

Twelve spreading virii
Eleven IE exploits
Ten RIAA summons
Nine Windows Holes
Eight logins failing
Seven server reboots
SIX STUCK ON CAPSLOCK
Five Thousand Spams
Four broken apps
Three new installations
Too many phone calls
…And a stuck floppy in a PC

Man, you aren’t kidding. How’d you get all that?

Users.

Users?

Computer users.

You know, like when you are surfing the net to read the Onion and Nothingsworth over in Research calls you because his christmas eggnog recipes won’t print?

Or when Doozi, with an “i” over in accounting calls because her sound for that dumb snow screensaver that’s really Claria-laden spyware doesn’t play?

Or when old Mr. BimbleWits can’t mail his “spreadsheet” when you know it’s just vacation pictures from Aruba?

You know, computer users. The ones that give you:

Twelve spreading virii
Eleven IE exploits
Ten RIAA summons
Nine Windows Holes
Eight logins failing
Seven server reboots
SIX STUCK ON CAPSLOCK
Five Thousand Spams
Four broken apps
Three new installations
Too many phone calls
…And a stuck floppy in a PC

I’d like to really go to Aruba

Great! Take them with you.

Who?

Are you not listening to me? Those folks that sent me

Twelve spreading virii
Eleven IE exploits
Ten RIAA summons
Nine Windows Holes
Eight logins failing
Seven server reboots
SIX STUCK ON CAPSLOCK
Five Thousand Spams
Four broken apps
Three new installations
Too many phone calls
…And a stuck floppy in a PC

Hey my screensaver’s not working.

WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?